Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Recovery Day 1 - October 8, 2008

Good morning! Today is the first day of a new life for me! What happened yesterday still hurts, that will heal with time and a good dose of listening to the Holy Spirit. I have sat up and laid awake trying to think of the reason why I was selected to be among those let go, but that is a useless exercise; I may never find out the true reason or reasons. I have read and reread the company announcements and compared what was said with those I know lost their jobs and just cannot reconcile any one set of criteria, other than the number. Those of us let go are "honored" to be one-third of ten percent, usually I don't do that well in raffles and prize drawings. If a raffle awards 3.3 percent prizes, I usually don't get anything!

Today, I start anew. I slept in, though that will not continue, I read the Omaha World-Herald, and I studied the Bible for longer than I usually do in the mornings. At 0724, when I am usually on the way to work, I am just sitting down with a cup of coffee to start writing. Today, I plan to list my writing projects for at least the next 3 months, some will take longer than that, but starting them is the main thing; I am going to work on some cabling down in the basement to get ready for my new Internet service, and work on some cleanup. I also need to make a trip to the bank, which unlike most days, I can do at any time. As I move forward, and past this perceived humiliation (heavy emphasis on perceived), I will no doubt find many advantages to self-employment. While I don't enjoy the golden parachute of the CEO's and other executives, you may note in the article that a severance package has been offered. I have a parachute, even if not a golden one! However, one of my first thoughts about that is ... God is my strength and shield! I will not of course refuse the severance, but I will trust in God first.

How God works in seemingly quiet ways! During my cold about a week ago, I rebuilt my office in another room. A lot of work for a sick person, though a cold is by no means incapacitating. The good thing is that now I am set up with a lot of desk space, two pc's, and a couple of printers. I did mess up on one printer though. I thought only of the advantage of having the power switch on a strip near at hand... and then plugged the power strip into my little UPS. Needless to say, the first time I fired up the laser printer last night, the UPS gave an angry "squeep!" and started to shut down. That will be another little project for today.

Did I mope about last night? You bet... while making chocolate chip cookies. There is something very comforting about baking or cooking something after a traumatic event, and that activity really helped me last night. Oh, boy! Talk about the outpouring of support! We all hate to see this happen to anyone, and I only hope that I can respond as well when someone else needs this kind of support. I pray that no one else loses their job at Cabela's or any other employer. Sidney will no doubt see some very serious conversations around the water coolers, bakeries, and coffee shops today. Today, my recovery begins, the town and others may take a bit more time, and I will do my best to write supportive and encouraging words for all. I want to thank all of you for the notes of support, and all of those who stopped by yesterday to lend a helping ear.

A note on the "perceived" humiliation. We are taught from early in our lives that a job is the thing to have. A grown man, and now grown women too, support their families and themselves through having a job. A job loss was then, and is now, a traumatic event for a family and for a man (this one in particular) or woman. However, I did nothing wrong and this was not a firing for some cause. While it seems humiliating to be singled out in this way, I need to get past that and see this for the wonderful opportunity and message from God that it is. Not that long ago, I did ask God to show me beyond any doubt when He wanted me to start writing. The sign may be painful and unexpected at the time of my receiving it, but there is no doubt in my mind that it has arrived and cannot be missed. Ouch! Yes, Lord, I hear you loud and clear!

May God strengthen those who need Him on this day,

Bucky

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