Good morning once again after 3 ½ weeks without the forms of communication we have grown accustomed to in this age. Phone and Internet were restored yesterday thanks to a financial rescue from my family. Thanks go out also to those who gave food and money over the past month or so to keep me going. What have I learned from this time?
God is good. Wants don't die simply because I cannot afford to satisfy them. Some things I can live without and do quite well, but others bug me on a daily basis. God's provision is timely, but my timely has not quite grown to where it should be as my trust wavered at times. However, it is never wrong to trust God. I said that one over and over as I wept in my living room one day when things seemed darkest. A person can take $10 - $15 to the grocery store and get enough to feed himself (and a couple of cats) for a little while, but it is difficult. It is way more difficult when the $10-$15 isn't available. I also learned that a multi-millionaire producer and actor can really piss off at least one of the poor with a little publicity stunt attempting to do much the same thing.
I learned how to make bread from scratch, and that it is more than just baking; it is also an art. I learned to bake chocolate cake, also from scratch, and that it is very tasty even without frosting when a person cannot afford the ingredients for the frosting stuff. I learned that when a truck cannot be driven due to my inability to afford the insurance, it makes a nifty bread dough raiser, a ¾ ton, 4WD, Hemi-powered, Quad Cab, bread dough raiser. I learned that cats can go a couple of days without their canned cat food, but the noise produced by that is more than a person should have to bear. A house can be owned, but it doesn't taste very good and is not nutritious. A truck can also be owned, but the fluids are quite undrinkable. I learned that it gets really quiet in the house without the telephone service, but it also makes it hard for anyone to make contact.
I learned that two partners, Shame and Self-pity, can destroy a man and will do their best to make that happen. I learned again that God is good. A Bible study can be written out in the old way, long hand with a pen and paper, but my writing hand surely does smart from it. However, prayer is always available, doesn't hurt the hands in any way, and brings wonderful answers when all is quiet in the house. Although my body was broken badly in an auto accident some years ago, it is still capable of much work. To avoid divorce, couples are counseled to not speak of it, and that method helps with suicide too. A person can resist the Devil and he will flee, just as we are taught in the Word. However, the Devil doesn't hear the thoughts rattling around in my head, speak it out loud and don't be ashamed. Telling the Devil about the love of God is sweet, you can actually feel the evil minions fleeing the area.
Church is not a necessity, but relationships with God first, and my brothers and sisters in Christ second most certainly are a necessary part of growing closer to God. I cannot do anything alone except fall down. God is always with me, even when loneliness tries to press me flat to the floor. And what a great place that is to pray from! I learned that I am totally dependent on God, and I am proud of that fact! When I came to that place, that is when things began to change for the better. Sometimes, even in His love, God lets us fall, or perhaps that should be, because of His love. So, financially speaking, I am poor, please forgive me. For the 'why didn't you's?', the answer lies in those two partners I mentioned, and in what God told me to do or not do. Each day is a gift from God, and I pray that we can share many more devotional moments.
God loves you in every circumstance,Bucky
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