Standing On My Own...Again

Good Saturday morning! The time and effort of going it alone has proven fruitless again and again, so exactly why is it that I keep trying? Do I not have the Spirit of God in me that will strengthen me, encourage me, remind me of scripture, and even love me when I feel unloved? Is there something perverse in me that wants to stand on my own in the sinking sands of my own strength? Yes! There is in fact. C.S. Lewis named it the diabolical nature. Paul told us that the new spirit in us would be at war with the old. Of course there is a spirit of sin still in me that wants to save myself and give no glory to God. Jesus will cleanse us all when He brings us home to be with Him forever. Until that time, the war rages on, but sometimes I fail to recognize the 5th column, those Quislings of the old spirit, that undermines my own efforts and encourages me to stand alone. I am easy prey for the Devil's minions when I try to stand on my own.

Imagine that you have the armor of God on, but that your armor is not energized by the Holy Spirit. The shield of faith with only your own ability to energize it does not quite stop the flaming arrows. The breastplate of righteousness is not the righteousness imputed to us by the Savior, so there are gaping holes in it. The belt of truth is a bit narrow when based only on your own knowledge of the truth. The two boots of the gospel of peace are at war with each other and certainly not ready or prepared to carry you on the narrow way. Finally, the helmet of salvation is on crooked because of doubts in your own ability, and the Sword of the Spirit will not strike true as you struggle to recall those Bible verses in a moment of crisis. Without the Spirit, you cannot stand, not even in armor.

God's armor is a different story. The shield of faith is our faith in Christ and the grace of God. A very powerful shield able to quench the Devil's fiery darts. The helmet of salvation is based on Christ and never sits crooked on the head of a believer. When the doubts come, the Spirit of Christ reminds, "I saved you; you did not save yourself. Do not doubt!" The righteousness of Christ is imputed to us through our faith in Him; that breastplate is whole and strong. The belt of truth is the Belt of Truth, and Truth is Jesus himself. Wide and strong, the girdle of our core belief protects not by our own understanding, but by the Son of God. The boots of readiness in the gospel of peace protect our feet and prepare them to march in God's army. With the Spirit to remind us of Christ and His Word, the Sword of the Spirit is ever sharp and cuts the Adversary deeply. We have powerful protection and a powerful weapon when we stand energized by the Spirit of God.

With all of those advantages, I still catch myself trying to go it alone in the war within. Of course I lose the fight, and it would be more dangerous still to win in my own strength. One thing I have learned. When I lose in my own strength, I am reminded once more of how much God loves me and how much I need Him at all times. I also learn to pray that I will not try to stand on my own again.

God bless you all,
Bucky